a man walks into a zoo. the only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. it’s a shitzu
this is literally my favourite joke ever
i am three years behind in my math homework
HAHAHAHA THIS IS SO RELEVANT RIGHT NOW
Koala’s response to being petted
“I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And what do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited.”
If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last ending.
This is perfect.
I just want to wake up to a really long cute sweet message. It’d make me feel nice.
Starry Night Over the Rhone, Van Gogh
This is my lock screen while my case is Starry Night… I’m a little obsessed.